


Stop, Look, and Listen

by SarahHBE



Series: Stony Bingo 2017 [14]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cat Tony, Cats, M/M, Magic, Mild Language, People getting turned into cats, dad tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 09:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13187625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahHBE/pseuds/SarahHBE
Summary: Loki causes trouble when he turns some of the Avengers + Peter and Harley into cats.  Tony is not amused (though Harley and Peter as kittens is kind of adorable).





	Stop, Look, and Listen

**Author's Note:**

> COMPLETELY UNEDITED. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
> YOU'VE BEEN WARNED HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sometimes, living in a tower with the Avenger’s logo on the side has its problems.  Mostly because everyone, including villains, knew where to find them.  So, when Loki popped in to cause evils it wasn’t a shock.  The strange giggling was, though.  And the fact that Harley and Peter were with Tony in the lab was unfortunate.  It took less than a second for the alarms to sound and in that short amount of time all three of them had been coated in a green glitter and Loki had fucked off to who knows where.

When Tony opened his eyes from reflexively closing them, his first thought was that he was much too close to the ground.  His second thought was  _well, shit_.  He’d never admit it but he just stayed on the ground, closed his eyes again for several seconds and bemoaned his entire existence.

“Mister Stark!”  A large lump landed somewhere near Tony’s stomach.

With one last roll of his eyes behind his eyelids, Tony opened his eyes.  And saw fur.

“What the shit?”  The fur blinked big brown eyes at him.  Glancing down at himself, Tony confirmed that he was a cat.

“REALLY?!?!” Was the only thing he could think to say.

“Tony, we’ve been turned into cats!!!  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?”  Another large lump landed on Tony, up where his shoulders should be.

Looking between the two boys, he noted that they appeared more kitten size than anything.  Harley was a golden color vaguely reminiscent of his human hair.  Peter was a tabby with a large “M” on his forehead.  Heaving himself off the floor Tony noted he at least appeared full grown (and a quick look confirmed he was still male), and some type of tabby as well.  Not that he knew a lot about cat coat types.  That’d be weird.

“Um, Mister Stark, why  _are_  we cats?” Peter spoke up.  Tony noted his mouth was moving and the patterned appeared to be matching with what he was saying …

“JARVIS, cut the noise, will you?”  The alarm was getting annoying.  There was a beat and nothing happened.  “JARVIS, the alarm, shut it off!”

“Sir, if you are trying to communicate with me, I am unable to understand you.”  So … he could understand the boys but apparently, they were not speaking English to JARVIS.  Which means he’s probably meowing at the cameras.   _Just beautiful_.  Tony raised a paw and shook it violently at the camera in his line of sight.

“I swear to God JARVIS, if you record any of this I will donate you to the Museum of Natural History.”

“Sir, as you appear to be able to understand what is going on, I would like to inform you that it appears as if Loki is no longer in the building.  However, he did visit Captain Rogers, Agent Barton, and Sargent Barnes before he departed.”

On one hand – paw – Tony  _was_  intrigued by the idea of super soldier cats.  On the other hand,  _ugh_.

“Loki?  Oh, no, Mister Stark!  Aunt May is going to kill me.”  Peter moaned.  Tony imagined kitten Peter yowling instead of talking and felt something suspiciously like  _awwww_  sound off from the back of his brain.

“TONY!!” There was the sound of claws on the ground and Tony looked up to see a giant, golden Maine coon skid to a stop just in the door.  Tony narrowed his eyes because he recognized that voice.

“Steve?”  Seriously, even as cats Steve was still bigger.

“Oh, thank God, you’re okay!” Steve looked around the room, his blue eyes taking in everything.

“Aside from being a cat, we’re fine.”  He eyed the way the Maine Coon’s tail flicked lazily as Steve strode closer.  Tony had never seen a cat’s tail so fluffy.  He had to resist looking at his own to see if it was fluffy or not.

“I don’t think JARVIS can understand us.” Steve stopped a couple feet away and sat on his butt.  Tony repeated to Steve what JARVIS had said only minutes ago and confirmed that even though they could understand each other, they were apparently not speaking English.

“We need Thor.  Do you know where he’s at?”  Steve blinked his blue eyes at Tony.

“He said something about an endless supply of strange beer before taking off a couple of hours ago.”

“Do you think we can talk to regular cats?”  Harley piped up.  He was watching the lazy flicking of Steve’s tail with a rather alarming intensity.

“You’re not going outside to find out.”  Tony said at the same moment Steve said, “Everyone is staying in the tower.”

“Sir, I would like to inform you that I have been able to contact Thor Odinson.  He said he is on his way back.”

“I love you, J.”  Tony said even though he knew the AI wouldn’t be able to understand him.

“Do you think All-Speak works on cats?”  Peter asked.

“Thor talks to my dog like he understands him.”  Clint said.

The final two cats wandered into the lab.  The first – apparently, Clint – was sporting the traditional tuxedo pattern.  The second was another tabby sporting a tail fluffier than Steve’s.  Figured Bucky would be a Russian breed.  Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Harley perk up at the sight of Bucky’s tail and tense like he was going to go in to kill it.

“Harley, stop!”  He yelled before he could stop himself.

“LOOK AND LISTEN!!” Peter and Harley yelled back.  Harley falling over in his excitement at getting to be annoying.  Tony tramped down on the stupid feeling to coo at the sight of Harley rolling around on the floor.

All three of the other adult cats blinked in unison and Tony just shook his head.

“They think they’re funny.” He explained.

“Wrong, Tony.  We’re cats right now.”  Harley was still on the ground, rolled onto his back with his belly up.

“And?” Tony was going to regret asking but he did it anyways.

“We’re funny and adorable.”

Clint and Steve snickered while Peter tried to hide a laugh in a cough.

“FRIENDS!” Thor boomed as he rushed into the room.  Tony and the rest winced at the sound, but he almost growled when he saw who was behind Thor.

“Well, this didn’t disappoint.” Dr. Strange said.

“Can you fix it?” Steve asked.  Tony held his breath to see if Thor understood.

“Aye, I will track down Loki.  In the meantime, the strange one has agreed to see if he can reverse the spell.”  Tony snickered himself when he saw the expression on Strange’s face.

“This may take a while.” Strange noted.

Several hours later they’d all settled in the living room.  Tony had curled up on one of the couches.  Steve and Bucky had decided this was a great time to see if they could best the other and had been fighting – quite viscously in Tony’s opinion – for nearly an hour.  Apparently, the super stamina was still working.  Clint had rounded up Peter and Harley and they were constantly trying to sneak up on the bigger cats.  Across the room something crashed – again – and Tony studiously ignored it.  Cat ears had their uses, Tony decided, as he listened without opening his eyes to someone trot up to his couch.  Without a word a small body curled up against Tony’s stomach.  He cracked his eyes and saw the pale fur that was Harvey.

“Give up, kid?”

“I thought the odds would be even a bit since we’re all cats.” Harvey said grumpily.  Tony huffed a laugh.

“Super powers only help with being a super hero.  Practice and training go a long way.  Look at Clint.  He’s probably saved more lives than everyone else combined and he _learned_ his skill, wasn’t born with it.  Why do you think I’m staying out of World War Gato?”

“Well I’m exhausted and am going to take a nap.”  Harley decided, curling up into a tighter ball.  Tony could feel the reverberations as he started to purr.

As with everything Peter/Harley, where one went the other would soon follow.  Tony soon felt another small body curl up against his belly.

“How long til Aunt May freaks out.” Peter asked.

“Aunt May is always freaking out.  But JARVIS contacted her and let her know you’d be staying overnight.  Strange will probably figure this out sooner rather than later, kid.”  Tony patted Peter’s head.

“You sure?”

“Heck, yeah.  Take a nap and things might be fixed by the time you wake up.” 

Peter nodded before letting go a huge yawn.  Once he was settled Tony stretched a little and made sure to curl around the two kittens before closing his eyes again.  Several seconds went by and then the cushions gave way to another, much heavier body.  Tony opened his eyes again just in time to get a tongue to the nose from Steve.  The large cat was purring heavily as if he was pleased.

“You look adorable.” Steve said nuzzling at the side of Tony’s head.

“You have a giant claw mark across your face.”

“Yeah, Bucky got me with the metal claw.  He also bit my right hind leg and it feels a little numb.”  Steve plopped down behind Tony, circling himself around and practically on top of the smaller cat.  His massive head rested on Tony’s body right below his head.

“Well, I’m glad you’re having fun.”

“Not the weirdest thing to happen to us.”  Steve pointed out.

“Sadly, not even in the top five.”  Steve hummed in response and closed his eyes.  After a few moments, Tony closed his eyes too.  He was happily dozing when Steve’s breaths turned into snores.

“REALLY?!?” Tony shouted in disbelief. “It’s bad enough your snore as a human but as a cat, too!!!”

In the end, Tony got very little sleep as a cat.  Not long after Steve started snoring Bucky and Clint decided the cat pile needed more cats and Tony almost suffocated.  Thor couldn’t locate Loki or parse out what he had been up too with the trick, but Dr. Strange successfully transformed them back.  Turned out JARVIS recorded everything.  Tony went through the recording and choose his favorite still to turn into a screensaver.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those stories where at the end I put my head in my hands and wonder why this came out of my head. It was rather forcefully turned into a bingo story (fulfilling the the stop, look, and listen square).
> 
> Find me on tumblr for more! @SarahHBE


End file.
